There's No Such Thing As Over-Packing

I've done it again. As much as I hate to admit it, I tried to be the perfect mom that packs the perfect bag so their kid can have the perfect "going away" experience.

Seems I went a little overboard.

So my daughter, we'll call her Lil' K (really, I just don't feel like typing daughter over and over again.) Anyway, Lil' K was picked to go away on a youth leadership weekend with the school, along with a handful of other kids. This little weekend is happening at an Appalachian Mountain Club lodge along the Appalachian Mountain Trail. Like the good mother I thought I was, I scoured the itinerary to figure out just what she'd be doing on this retreat of hers. Being that it's at a hikers lodge there are, of course, a lot of outdoorsy sounding things for the kids to choose from. Hiking, mountain survival scenarios, map reading with a scavenger hunt through the forest... you get the picture.

Anti-Granola-Supermom-Wannabe to the rescue.

They were kind enough to send along a list of suggested items for the trip- things that one would need when attending AMC's Mountain Classroom. I attacked the list with gusto.

First, what to pack everything in? Mr. Perfect (my husband) has a huge duffel bag- awesome, everything will fit in one bag. Problem is, it's been in our dusty, musty cellar for the past year, sitting right next to his hockey bag. Any of you hockey moms out there know that funk just spreads like a toxic green gas into anything in the remote vicinity. Not a problem, bag goes into the washing machine along with every odor fighting concoction I can think of. Once I take it out of the dryer I manage to convince myself that the smell is just "stuck in my nose" and the bag is fine. Well, won't hurt to drown it in Febreeze, just in case. I really hope the smell doesn't permeate her clothes.

Side pockets-one side has the hiking boots that we just had to get her (they'll come in handy for hunting season-really, they will.) Other side pocket is stuffed with rolled up ski pants and her winter jacket (after all, she's going to be at the base of Mt. Washington-home of the worst weather in the world!)

Into the main compartment go the jeans, running pants, yoga pants, a variety of shirts, long johns, pajamas, more extra socks than she could wear in a week, underwear (Mom!), sleeping bag, warm cozy fleece shirt (the info sheet said NO cotton!), sweatshirt, AND a backpack filled with everything she will need for a hike in sub-arctic temperatures. And don't forget the toiletries. Lil' K loves the outdoors, but can also be a girly-girl when she wants to be so there had to be the right brush, shampoo, conditioner, body wash (not soap) and one of those bath puffy things. They provide sheets but she just had to bring her own sleeping bag. (Mom, you never know who slept in those beds last!)

I semi-expertly folded, rolled and stuffed every last bit of this crap into the duffel bag. I mean, the zipper wasn't even straining I was that good. Lil' K goes to take it off the table- and it slams down on the floor. Several minutes of grunting and groaning later and she finally has it up onto her shoulder. She's ready to go.

We get to the school to meet the bus that's taking them there. We see the other kids getting out of cars and going to wait. All of them are carrying very small back-packs and overnight bags. MOM! I over-packed!

Sweetie, there is no such thing as over-packing. But of course, she's at an age where it's all about fitting in and she's mortified that she's the only one with such a huge bag. I tell her that she told me she was going to sign up for the outdoor stuff and that it was better to be prepared. She'll thank me when her friends are complaining of the cold and she's nice and toasty in her long johns and fleece. It's at this point that one of the other moms says to me, "Well, I think most of the stuff is going to be indoors." Did we read the same itinerary?

I come home to a quiet house. Her little brother (we'll call him Mr. T) is playing outside and I'm staring down a pile of laundry that needs to be folded. On top of that pile is the load of towels that I washed this morning so I could pack one in with the rest of her stuff.

I forgot to pack the damn towel. Hope they give her time to drip dry.

This is the first time she's gone away from home for something like this. It'll be nice to have some quality time with me and Mr. T and all that, but I can't wait for my wet, musty smelling little girl to come home and tell me all about it. In spite of my short-comings as a super-packer, I'm sure she'll have a blast!

Spring... Yay?

It's finally here... the first day of spring. Birds are chirping, snow is melting, mud is... mudding and the kids can barely contain themselves. While I am excited about the prospect of warm weather and sunshine, spring  also brings something that I dread... spring cleaning.

I know, I know, it's not that bad. And really, it isn't, because I've become such a slacker when it comes to spring cleaning that I don't know why I stress about it. I don't really do it anymore. That really bothers me because I love a freshly spotless house. But this year, I can't avoid it. It has to be done. My house is a disorganized pit and I find it only stresses me out more than I need to be. My husband laughs at me, because on days where I am supposed to be relaxing I can't. Not if the sink is full of dishes, the kitchen table is piled with the kid's homework, the dishwasher needs emptying, the living room needs vacuuming, and my favorite fat lazy pants are dirty and need to be washed. Relax when all that is sitting there? Ya, not happening.

When I was a kid, I remember watching my mom go through her spring cleaning routing. Walls were washed, carpets were steam cleaned, anything that needed painting got painted, and the cupboards were all washed, inside and out.When we bought our house, I had made up my mind then that I was going to follow in my mom's footsteps. My house was going to be clean. Two kids later... ya, not so much. I have no idea how my mom did it with four of us little angels running around. She was a saint.

I am bound and determined to get organized this year. The cabinet in the kitchen that holds the kid's craft stuff and crayons will be cleaned out. The junk table (yes, not only do I have a junk drawer, I also have a junk table) will be cleaned off and a new method will be found to organize the mail, bills, cell phone and game chargers, school things that need to be kept handy, and various tools that get used but not put away. (I'll just leave that screwdriver-hammer-wrench there until the next time I go down to the cellar.) It will happen!

My walls, well, they are in a pretty sad state. With the woodstove that we use for supplemental heating in the winter, they always seem to be dusty or dirty. This is the year to repaint, so I guess I'll get out of washing those this year. But I will keep up with dusting them so that next spring they will only need a quick wipe down. Oh, quick little tip that I learned along the way about washing walls... warmish-hot water, splash of white vinegar, little shake of baking soda, and a little squirt of dish soap. It does a great job (little streaky, but I probably don't have the ratio of all the products right) and doesn't smell like an obnoxious chemical... it just smells clean.

The kid's rooms will get a complete overhaul. Broken toys, outgrown toys, toys that have had juice spilled on them, toys that have missing parts will be tossed! My spare room/ computer room will be completely emptied and cleaned until it sparkles! That is a big one right there. Have you ever seen that show on BBC "How Clean is Your House." My spare room is like an episode of that. Kim and Aggie would have a field day in there. Maybe if I'm feeling brave enough when I tackle it, I'll post before and after pics. You will be amazed!

I'm not  relaying all this to you because I want to sound like some over-achieving neat freak, because I am far from it. I just want the rest of the slackers with messy houses out there know that you are not alone! I'll let you all know how I make out.

Until next time... :)

The Eternal Debate

I'm sure what I'm about to say is going to ruffle a lot of feathers, but the topic never fails to ruffle my own.

Breastfeeding.

We've all heard the pitch. "Breast is Best." I'm not debating that. I am well aware of the health benefits to the baby, the bonding experience, yadda yadda yadda. To be honest with you, I'm a little sick of hearing about it. From the "lactivists" staging nurse-ins at department stores down to the school pick up line conversations. What prompted me to write this is an article I saw today on a major news website. Great article-it was about the difference between "idealism" and "realism" when it comes to breastfeeding and the pressure it puts on new moms. Because the reality is, that a lot of the time, reality sucks. We all have this vision in our heads about perfect bonding moments, but that's not always the way it goes. And it wasn't so much the article that got me riled up, it was the comments. I can't believe some people can be so ignorant.

Let me start with this. I didn't nurse either one of my kids and it was for totally selfish reasons and I own it, so there is no need to bash. I wanted kids, but I hated being pregnant. I was miserable. Between the usual side affects, the unbearable heartburn, and the fact that I questioned every single thing I put into my body as to whether or not it was good for the baby, I was done. After nine months of my body not being my own, I wanted it back.  And when I say I wanted it back, I'm not talking about my pre-pregnancy shape. For nine months my body was at the sole mercy of this little person growing inside me. I wanted to be in control again. Luckily, I have a very reasonable husband who said something that many women don't get to hear often enough... "It's your body, do what you think you need to do."

So, on to the comments...

One moron, who obviously must be a man, had the gall to comment about mandates for breastfeeding. Mandates? Really? His logic was that breastfeeding leads to healthier children which leads to less trips to the doctor which leads to lower healthcare costs. Ok, so maybe his logic makes a small bit of sense, but I would like to shoot it down right now. Both of my formula fed kids are very happy, healthy children whose only trips to the doctor are for their yearly physicals. My son does have very mild asthma, but I also know children who were nursed who have tons of health problems, allergies, are sick all the time, you name it. Would I have avoided his asthma had I decided to breastfeed? Really, I want to know. I want someone to give me a definitive answer. You can't, can you? And until you can, stop making us formula moms feel like we are raising little disease magnets just because breast wasn't best for us.

Another douchebag piped in that his wife nursed their kids because he wanted her to. Then, she was told by a neighbor that her baby cries because she is not producing enough milk. Hero-hubby showed her that the baby was indeed gaining weight, after which she nursed and the baby began choking because her milk was flowing so well. He suggested that it was her mindset that was holding her back from producing milk and that if you think you can breastfeed, you can breastfeed. Buddy, these are boobs, not "the little train that could." There are so many things wrong with this picture, that I'm sure are obvious to someone with any common sense. But having never breastfed, I can't vouch for the mental part of it, other than to say his story sounds a little far-fetched and he sounds like a huge chauvenistic pig. Women, our bodies are ours. Men, state your reasons for your opinions, but in the end leave it up to us.

Of course there were comments from the righteous, who have enough fortitude to breastfeed and strongly advocate it. What I don't like, is these news outlets and research teams attempting to make formula moms feel inferior because it is not what they chose and starting debates that leads to that kind of animosity. I don't like the moms who are all about this looking down their noses at those of us who chose not to. In my case, it was a choice and as I've said, I own it. But for others, it's not always a choice. There are sometimes health considerations for both mom and baby, there is the fact that many women realize that the baby just won't latch on right, I could go on and on. Stop with the snobbery, or even worse, the pitying, sympathetic clucking when faced with someone who just could not make that option work.

I'm sure you've heard the term "Mommy Wars." Do we really need to start the "Boobie Wars?" Get over it people. Own the fact that the choices you are making are what you believe is best for you and the rest of your family. Respect those who make different choices and are living differently from you. Don't we have enough pressure on us to try to raise productive members of society without bringing all the other bullshit into it?

Kudos for a great article. A big fat middle finger to those who totally missed the point of it.

Nerd Glasses

So, my twelve year old daughter is all about being cool these days. The right clothes, right sneakers, right jacket, right electronics. But, she doesn't come shopping with me so she gets Aero and Old Navy when it's on sale and she doesn't really know the difference. The cell phone she just had to have is a prepaid and when she's out of minutes, too bad, so sad, she has to wait for her service date until we'll add more, and she has to do chores and keep her grades up to earn those minutes. We caved and got her an Ipod Touch for Christmas. That was a huge step for us, because when the "in" thing was the Nintendo DSi we made the kiddos save up and pay for it themselves.

Apparently that makes us evil, but not as evil as we were when we told the kids, no, you cannot each have your own laptop. Such monsters. I'm waiting for Child Protective Services to come knocking on our door.

I was thoroughly shocked the other night to find out that nerd glasses are suddenly cool at her school. Basically what "all the kids are doing" is popping out the lenses of some black, thick framed sunglasses, and wearing them all day at school. It's... like... soooo cool mom!

Now, my dear daughter actually has to wear prescription glasses. Poor kid inherited my genes in that department and she's blind as a bat. She just happens to be due for a new pair. The other night, as I'm tucking her in, she tells me that she wants nerd glasses when we order her new pair. Sorry kid, not happening. And in her eyes, Monster Mom rides again.

*whiny girl voice* "But Mooooommm, everyone says they look soooooo good on me and they're, like, sooooo cool! Why can't I? If you don't like them, are you saying the entire school (of twelve and thirteen year olds) is wrong? Because they all think I look cool in them!"

Again, I tell her that we'll pick something she likes, but it's not going to be 1950's nerd glasses.

She starts to cry. Seriously? Like I already don't feel like a jerk when I have to say no to some of her crazy ideas, she has to turn on the water works? I said good night to her and told her we'd finish the conversation in the morning. By then, I was hoping she would forget. Not quite. She put those nerd frames on and headed out the door. That day, she came home still wearing them talking about how she "lost" her real glasses. Hmm, does she think I was born yesterday? I found them under her father's recliner.

Remember back when you lived in the moment and didn't think that what is supposedly cool right now wouldn't still be cool six months from now? Well, that's where we're at. I can see it now. In another three months, that one little mean kid will make a nasty comment about the nerd glasses she just had to have and she'll come home from school wailing about how we have to go get new ones now.

I know I should be embracing and encouraging her individuality and sense of choice and need to make decisions for herself, but let's face it. Kids can be little a**holes to each other. And I know she hasn't really thought about it past the novelty of the big ugly glasses that make people laugh. We'll see if she's laughing 20 years from now when she sees those frames in her school picture. Because that will end up being the picture that the mean kids put in her senior yearbook for the flashback picture. It sucks, but it is what is.

Now raise your hands if you want to be the one to go to the optometrist with her next week to pick new frames! Anyone? Anyone? Yeah, didn't think so, but it was worth a shot.

Until next time...

Grrr.... Pinterest!

Okay, I hadn't planned on this blog being entirely one big rant, but I have to rant about this.

Pinterest.

This site is the devil, for two reasons. The first big one is that I have become one of the many who have become addicted to this site. I swear, if I make every recipe I've copied from there I'm going to weigh about 500 pounds. And that will not be pretty. But the stuff I've found on there just looks sooo irresistible that I'm going to have to try most of it.

Which brings me to my next point about this unbelievably addictive site. You caught the part about me copying the recipes, right? Well, that's because you have to be invited to the website to be able to pin anything. Seriously? I mean, it's a brilliant marketing plan, but tends to piss people like me off. Instead of just pinning things to my boards I am left clicking, then clicking again, then copying, then pasting to a word doc, then saving. It's a big pain in my ass. And, it's filling up my second rate lap top with a lot of crap. Not to mention, that while I was at work today, I found an amazing looking recipe for chocolate chip cookies. Now, I can't find the damn thing.

So, to the invite Gods at Pinterest, I beg. I beg of you to please accept my invitation and save my sanity (and the memory on my hard drive). Because, really, my friends are of the non-cyber variety, so getting an invitation that way just isn't going to work.

I know, I know. Put the recipes on your thumb drive! To be honest with you, I just thought of that. I'll have to try that tomorrow. For now, I've got to go cook something. The kids need to eat after all.

Family Fun?

Two posts in one day... Holy S**T!

For some reason the following popped into my brain today and I had to share. Because not only is it one small moment of realizing I am far from being a perfect mom, I get another reminder... every...single...month.

I'm talking about FamilyFun magazine. Why do I torture myself?

A little back story... Back when my daughter was in kindergarten, the parents used to have to wait for their kids on the sidewalk for when class let out. Most moms (like me) would rush to get there super early, not because we were anxious to reunite with our darling children, but to get the best parking spot. You know, the spot that you can just drive right out of without having to back up and risk hitting one of the little tots because you can't see over the back of your SUV. The spot that runs no risk of someone blocking you in. The. Perfect. Parking. Spot.

Anyway, so a couple weeks before Halloween I'm standing on the sidewalk waiting with the other moms who are all talking about what their little angels are going to be for Halloween-and simultaneously making me feel like crap because I don't have the creativity to come up with half the shit their spouting off. One mother mentions how this entire family she knows all dressed up like wrapped Christmas presents and submitted the pic to FamilyFun. Stupid me, I have to ask, "What's FamilyFun?"

Cue the collective gasp.

"You don't know what FamilyFun is?"

They proceeded to tell me and after my daughter was safely home with Dad, I ran back out to the drugstore to pick up a copy of this apparent Holy Grail of parent's magazines. Needless to say, it didn't make me feel any better about my creative abilities. And, I gotta say, some of their costume ideas were cute that year. Thankfully, that year, my daughter decided that a hand-me-down medieval princess costume from her older cousin would be great. However, I was still at a loss for my son. FamilyFun to the rescue. They had a pretty cute robot costume. It was way over my head and required more supplies than I cared to buy so I did the best I could. Let me be clear about my crafting abilities. I have great ideas in my head but, as always, the execution is a little off.

I found an old box, cut some arm holes, a hole for his head and covered that bitch in tin-foil. Instant robot. Then my husband came home and thought it would be cool to punch holes in it and get lights that blink. Surely they must sell battery operated Christmas lights? Um, no. We compromised. He punched the holes and when it was time to go out trick or treating I taped some glow sticks on the inside so they would show through the holes. Instant lights, no batteries required.

Personally, my non-creative psyche thought it kicked ass.

And so began my love-hate relationship with that pesky publication. I bought a subscription. Over the years, I've renewed it here and there because sometimes there are some really cute ideas in there. The kids have filled my parent's house with homemade gifts that tug at their grandparent's heartstrings. Of course, they don't look as good as the ones that the professional crafter makes to be photographed for the mag, but hey... it's the thought that counts.

And yet, I haven't even flipped through the February issue I just got. I cringe at the thought of all those Valentine's Day crafts.

Until next time...

Just a few things

Over the past few days, I've struggled with what to write, and opted not to write anything. Until now. I've come up with a few topics that I think need to be covered.  Today's disclaimer- this blog is not meant to incite political debate. It is just drabble about my own observations.

First off... The Bruins Go To The White House
Being a "NorthernGirl" from the eastern part of the United States it's almost a given that when it comes to sports I would be a fan of all things New England. The Boston Bruins are no exception. I can't tell you how thrilled I was when they won the Stanley Cup. Such an amazing experience for a great bunch of guys. Which brings me to yesterday's visit to the White House and Tim Thomas' absence.

Tim, you are my hero.

I am not a fan of our current president, but no matter which way you slice it, it's an honor to visit the White House in any capacity other than the public tour. Unfortunately, it seemed quite obvious that our current commander in chief knows very little about hockey. But for Tim to stay out of it to make a statement regarding his beliefs is amazing. Tim Thomas is a great guy and it's nice to see a sports figure standing up for what he believes in. You go Tim! Oh, and kick some Capital butt tonight! I'll be watching :)

Which brings me to my second topic... The State of the Union Address.
I will not be watching. Any of it. The state of the union address is basically the president's one time a year to stand up in front of everyone and brag about what they think they've done and what they think they are going to do. And until I see results in my middle class life... not interested. Besides, Obama, for whatever faults he has, is really a great public speaker. It was a lot more fun when GW was president. Hubby and I actually watched one of his addresses and played "State of the Union Drinking Game." Every time GW messed up the pronunciation of a word or said "nucular"...DRINK!

Hubby had a pretty good buzz by the end.

And speaking of being a fan of all things New England... how about those Patriots? Can you believe Cundiff missed that kick? Too bad, so sad, it got my favorite team into the Superbowl. I really hope they win it, mostly because I can't stand either of the Manning brothers, but Eli especially. It's that spoiled brat look he always has on his face that I just can't get past. You just know by looking at him that he was one of those bratty kids that whined and threw fits all the time when they were little. We shall see on February 5th.

Until next time...